McCain Cheats on Wife

Presidential contender John McCain started enjoying pleasures of the marital bed with his current wife, Cindy, before he got divorced from his first wife, Carol.

In my opinion, that's the kind of man this country needs as its President: a man who knows what he wants and goes out and gets it. I'm a lot like that, too. I knew that I wanted to divorce my wife, and I knew the quickest way to make that happen was to fool around with another woman and accidentally-on-purpose get caught doing it.

And when I want to get drunk, that's exactly what I do, just like John McCain. I saw him in one of those Town Hall meetings and he was obviously two sheets to the wind. Now a lot of people would try to be sober when they're on TV, but John McCain is who he is. Period.

Like John McCain I mix alcohol with other medications like Oxycontin and Zoloft. Anyone can get drunk. It takes real men like John McCain and me to sound half intelligent when we're totally messed up.

Liberals, on the other hand, can't handle their women or the liquor or the war in Iraq. The only they can handle is being liberal, which isn't saying much now, is it?