McCain Cheats on Wife

Presidential contender John McCain started enjoying pleasures of the marital bed with his current wife, Cindy, before he got divorced from his first wife, Carol.

In my opinion, that's the kind of man this country needs as its President: a man who knows what he wants and goes out and gets it. I'm a lot like that, too. I knew that I wanted to divorce my wife, and I knew the quickest way to make that happen was to fool around with another woman and accidentally-on-purpose get caught doing it.

And when I want to get drunk, that's exactly what I do, just like John McCain. I saw him in one of those Town Hall meetings and he was obviously two sheets to the wind. Now a lot of people would try to be sober when they're on TV, but John McCain is who he is. Period.

Like John McCain I mix alcohol with other medications like Oxycontin and Zoloft. Anyone can get drunk. It takes real men like John McCain and me to sound half intelligent when we're totally messed up.

Liberals, on the other hand, can't handle their women or the liquor or the war in Iraq. The only they can handle is being liberal, which isn't saying much now, is it?

John McCain's War Hero Sexuality

So what if John McCain started sleeping with his current wife, Cindy, before he got divorced from his first wife, Carol. I mean, really, so what?

Republican men are virile. And, when you're a maverick, too, like John McCain, and a war hero like John McCain is, you're even more virile. When you're more virile you simply need more sex than one woman can reasonably supply. Unless she's a liberal nympho like Jane Fonda.

John McCain didn't have a lot of sex in the "Hanoi Hilton." He certainly did not have sex with the Vietcong. That would have been consorting with the enemy. I don't know if he consorted with American prisoners, but if he had to choose, I'm sure he went with Americans and not those Vietcong bastards.

Like John McCain, I have never had sex with the Vietcong. Jane Fonda did, of course. And a lot of other Liberals did, too, like the Kennedy's. The Liberals that didn't have sex with the Vietcong? They really, really, really wanted to have sex with the Vietcong!

Disgusting Liberal Traitors!

McCain Forgiven By Media for Cheating on Wife

John McCain started sleeping with his current wife, Cindy, before he got divorced from his first wife, Carol. Liberals ask" "Why, unlike John Edwards, has he has not been raked over the coals by the media?"

When John McCain was cheating on his wife, he was a war hero. War heros can pretty much have sex with anyone they want to, pretty much whenever they want to. Women have been having sex with war heros since just about the beginning of time. They see it as their patriotic duty.

Is John Edwards a war hero? No -- and that's why it's wrong when he does it, but right when John McCain does it. John McCain probably had women throwing themselves at him when he got back his years at the "Hanoi Hilton." He probably turned 99% of them down even though he was perfectly within his rights to have sex with all of them.

Even though I'm not a war hero, I've done some things I'm quite proud of -- like supporting John McCain. That entitles me to sex with women other than my wife. Obama supporters, because they support Obama, don't have that kind of flexibility.

That's what they get for being liberals!

McCain Not Ashamed of Cheating on First Wife

John McCain, whose life resembles mine in so many ways, started sleeping with his current wife, Cindy, before he got divorced from his first wife, Carol. If you ask me, this is just another reason he's qualified to lead us into the 21st Century.

See, what makes John McCain a great leader is that he's not ashamed of cheating on his wife. Great leaders like George W. Bush are never ashamed of what they do. Is George W. Bush ashamed of invading Iraq? No! Should he be? No! Why? Because he's a leader and leaders lead. Liberals, on the other hand, are always apologizing for everything. Like Jimmy Carter in his "malaise" speech.

If you ask me, there's no way that Nancy Pelosi's husband hasn't cheated on her. And -- because he's such a liberal he probably apologized for it! Wimp!

MCain Cheated on Wife Back When It Was Okay to Cheat On Your Wife

John McCain, whose life resembles mine in so many ways, started sleeping with his current wife, Cindy, before he got divorced from his first wife, Carol.

What makes this different from John Edwards cheating on his wife is that when John McCain did it, everyone was cheating on their spouse. In fact, back in the swinging 70s people who remained faithful were mocked and made to feel stupid by the counterculture. The counterculture ran the country back then and forced everyone to cheat on their spouses. Everybody knows that.

Even American heros like John McCain was forced to cheat. Then Ronald Reagan, thank God, was elected, the counterculture ran for cover and all the cheating stopped -- among Republicans at any rate. Democrats continue to cheat. That's below of their low moral character.

That's why Edwards must be pilloried now. And if you can't understand that, you're a liberal.

McCain Knows Best on Troop Pull-Out Timetable

McCain (and me) know best when it comes to just about everything. One of the things we know best about is when to pull out of Iraq: when we say! We don't listen to puppet governments, or real governments or anybody else. That's because we're so darn sure of ourselves. Liberals, on the other hand, listen to puppet governments. That's because liberals are soft and don't know what's best for people, or countries, or anything for that matter!

McCain -- Deceit and Infidelity Are Needed Now

John McCain, whose life resembles mine in so many ways, started sleeping with his current wife, Cindy, before he got divorced from his first wife, Carol.

Amazingly, I did pretty much the same thing!

Like John McCain, my first wife got into a terrible car accident. John McCain was in his hell-hole in Vietnam. I was on a sales trip. When I got home and saw my wife, I immediately began seeking the solace of a rich young woman, like John did.

Here's where our lives differ a bit: John got a rich young woman while I did not. But I did dump my first wife, and did sleep with a few women before I divorced her. That's got to count for something!

With all the Muslims running around intent on killing Americans, McCain and me know that deceit, though unpleasant, must be used against them.

What this all boils down to is this: McCain and me have been practicing deceit so that we can do our duty as patriots and defend the Homeland against Muslim infidels!